// 02 — EVIDENCE LOCKER
SELECTED
CRIME SCENES
Scroll to walk the wall.
Look, don't touch — everything here is admissible in court.
WANTED — CRIMES AGAINST BEIGE
REWARD: ONE DECENT HOMEPAGE
AT LARGE SINCE 2026
I VANDALIZE THE INTERNET FOR A LIVING.
Stencil-grade design for brands with a pulse. No templates. No mercy. No beige. Pixel-perfect. Paint-perfect.
WALK THE WALL
// 01 — THE MANIFESTO
READ IT BEFORE
IT GETS BUFFED
APPROVED
BY NOBODY
BY NOBODY
- 01
The modern web is one long beige corridor with the same four fonts. I'm here to tag the walls.
- 02
Every website looks identical. That isn't design. That's obedience with a drop shadow.
- 03
Your brand guidelines are a cage. I bring bolt cutters and a nicer typeface.
- 04
White space is beautiful. So is setting it on fire.
- 05
Comfort the disturbed. Disturb the comfortable. Invoice them both.
SELECTED
EXHIBIT A2026
SMILE, YOU'RE
BEING TRACKED
A
EXHIBIT B2025
FLYING PIG
FINANCE
B
EXHIBIT C2025
EXIT THROUGH
THE GIFT SHOP
C
EXHIBIT D2024
OBEY THE
ALGORITHM
D
EXHIBIT E2024
THIS IS NOT
A WEBSITE
E
EXHIBIT F2023
KEEP IT
REAL™
F
TO BE
CONTINUED…
More walls under investigation.
The file is thicker than it looks.
// 03 — MODUS OPERANDI
HOW THE DAMAGE
GETS DONE
VANDALISM
Identity systems with intent to cause memory. Logos, type and colour that get recognised from across the street. Unforgettable or it didn't happen.
CHARGE 01BRAND & IDENTITY
SABOTAGE
Websites built from scratch — no template was harmed because no template existed. Motion and interaction that hit like a fresh tag at 3AM.
CHARGE 02DESIGN & BUILD
COUNTERFEIT
I study what your competitors stole, then legally out-steal it. Originality is a moving target. I brought a faster bike.
CHARGE 03STRATEGY & RESEARCH
COVER-UP
Full redesign and rebuild. Nobody has to know what it looked like before. The old screenshots have been dealt with. Our lips are sealed.
CHARGE 04RECOVERY & REDESIGN
// 04 — FIELD TEST
GRAVITY IS JUST A DEFAULT SETTING.
Scroll flings things at the sky.
Physics has been notified and is upset.
YOUR
STANDARDS
STANDARDS
000ARRESTS
000WALLS TAGGED
00MUSEUMS INFILTRATED
0BEIGE SITES DEMOLISHED
* numbers independently unverified by pest control
// 05 — CONFESSIONS
COMMISSION
A CRIME
Tell me what to burn. I'll bring the matches, the alibi and the invoice.
* the button has trust issues. two, specifically.